January 2011
I think I’ve found a better support system than what the typical support system is supposed to be. Mom and Dad. I don’t really have that.
I find support where I need it and I have that. I wish things were different, but they’re not. So it’s time to man up and take care of literally everything by myself.
Hello adult life. :)
Hello my name is Ashley Devine. I am just two weeks shy of being twenty years old. It is currently Friday night. I am eating cookies and milk, coloring, and watching Rugrats on Netflix.
Couldn’t ask for a better Friday night.
:)
Home
is not Boise, ID
or the house on Edson St where I’ve lived since I was four.
Home is where I make it. I know exactly where I’ve made it.
It's funny
How I get older, the less and less stress I feel. I’m not going to school this semester for this first time since I was five. Odd. All I will be doing is working. That’s fine with me. More time to focus on finally moving out of my house, which is well needed more than anybody understands. I’ve spent the past two weeks really improving myself, and I think I finally got it where I...
You crossed my mind today. It was finally in the way I wanted it to be. You said you regretted me. I looked at your life and then looked at mine. I saw how empty yours is. I don’t get that gut wrenching feeling when I think of you anymore. I did for awhile and didn’t want to admit it. The sad thing is is that you’re more than likely too brain dead to figure out that this is about...
Don't
Think I am trying to pick a fight with you, intimidate you, or squash you under my shoe. That is not what I go out to do, so quit making up your own intentions for me. If anything, I am trying to be a positive influence, not a bitch.
I am not here to play Tina Toughnuts or Heather Hardass. I am here because I want to be.
Social Shutdown
Begins now.
As of Monday, my life will consist of school, work, and things that aren’t fun. Don’t worry, I shall return.
Until then….
BIG TEXT
Dad: I HAVE BIG TEXT NOW
Me: ….cool.
Dad: I EAT YOUR TINY TEXTS!
The past
It’s not so bad when you unlock the right doors and find things you never thought you would..
I found something at the exact time when I needed it.
Thank you, Grandpa. I know you’re looking out for me. I hope I didn’t let you down. I love you. :)
“This is a sad excuse for a dinner. THIS IS HORSESHIT!” (slams drawer)
“Megan, I’m the one with a steak knife in my hand. You have a butter knife. Maybe you’ll show up to work tomorrow, maybe not.”
I may not get along with my family as much, but it’s moments like these that remind me how dysfunctional we are and how I wouldn’t have it any other...
“This isn’t saran wrap! IT’S CLING WRAP!”
Jake knows just what to say to fuck with my head when he knows my nerves are on fire.
Dick.
“If you were a man I’d kick the living dogshit out of you.”
“If you were a man I’d be worried.”
I think I might like this show.
This is how the cycle goes.
I am wanted by those who I do not want.
I want those who do not want me.
Story of my life. It gets retold numerous times.
That’s how it works.
I just made you up to hurt myself.
And it worked.
2011
I start it by doing this new thing called being sober. I am tired of feeling sick and unhealthy. I just need a break.
So I bid goodbye to alcohol for awhile. Smashley needs to be put on hold. I am not going to turn into that girl.
